So I was watching an older episode of "Dirty Jobs" the other day. It was the one where he works on the goat farm with the fainting goats. Have you seen these little guys? They are just normal goats, but at certain times they faint. Dead away. One minute they are cavorting about as goats do, the next their little limbs go all stiff and they fall down on the grass and stare blankly. They get back up after a few seconds, no worse for the wear. Quite amazing really.

There is a theory that this is where 'Scapegoat' came from. If you had a herd of goats (regular ones) and a handful of fainters, when the local wolves jumped your herd, you could count on a fainter going all stiff and becoming a sandwich for the wolves letting all your other goats get away.

Why am I telling you about scapegoats? What in the heck do goats have to do with anything?

Last Wednesday night I caught a plane from Dulles airport. My flight was the 10 pm red eye to London and I got to the airport with plenty of time to spare. I grabbed a quick dinner at one of the fine airport restaurants, wandered about the airport for a bit, hit the BA lounge for a scotch and a glass of water, then got on the plane. -- Sounds okay so far huh? -- We took off with no troubles and had been in the air for about 20 minutes when I started to get very hot. I couldn't get comfortable in my seat and started to feel a little nauseous. Uh oh, maybe the tuna melt I had for dinner wasn't quite right. This could be bad.

I got out of my seat and started toward the toilet when I realized my mistake. Right after I stood up, my vision started to fade around the edges. My eyesight was totally gone by the time I made it to the door and I knew if I could just get the door open and sit down again, everything would be fine. As I fumbled with the door in vain, the nice attendant (Roberto was his name) kept telling me to "Just push, just push." I looked in the direction of his voice and said, "I can't see."

I woke up in the toilet with a icy, cold soda in my hand and heard someone saying, "He looks a bit better now, getting more color." To me, "Here, take a drink of this." I am told that I collapsed on the floor and had to be lifted into the loo. Most of the attendants came back to check on me and there was even talk of turning around for a good ol' emergency landing. All of this is secondary, because for me there was no passing of time between the, "I can't see" moment and being moved into another seat with cold towel on my head. Nothing.

Other than everyone asking how I was for the rest of the flight, everything else went well. The rest of the trip went well too. This is fifth time I have fainted in 33 years but the first time I have done so on an airplane. The last time was at the theatre in London. The spells don't seem to be attached to anything particular, so I can't say why I do it. The only thing I can come up with, I am a scapegoat. If the herd gets attacked by wolves or something else, I will pass out and become a sandwich while the rest of you get to safety. See how nice I am to all of you? Without me, you might have to run faster.

Events worth looking into this week? Sputnik made its historic orbit around the world 50 years ago next week. To mark that momentous occasion, a series of space related things for you. First, in Courthouse's new event lobby, Michael D'Antonio will be there on October 1 st at 7 pm to tell everyone about the race between the two majors to get a something, anything, into space. Dogs, monkeys, chickens, powdered orange juice, rolls of Duct tape and even Tom Hanks. Shooting things into space rocks and we are going to find out why.

If that whets your appetite for all spacey things, but you still want more, Michael Neufeld is going to be in our Lansburgh store telling us all about the one man who helped America get into space. While not a native of Alexandria, he is buried there now, Werner Von Braun. Michael's new book is simply called "Von Braun" and tells the tale of the man who went so far as to work with war criminals to further his own dream of space travel. The only reason we got to hear the words "one small step for man. . ." was because America imported Von Braun after WW II and put him to work on building rockets. Michael will be in Lansburgh on the 4 th at 7 pm to tell us more and answer your questions.

If outer space is a little too much for you to grasp and your tastes are a little darker and little more Gothic, maybe you should should clear your Tuesday October 2 nd. Too cool to be held in any store, Eric Nuzum (local guy, NPR reporter and Vampire 'Hunter') is the center of our third book reading at the Wonderland Ballroom. Eric's new book is called "The Dead Travel Fast" and follows his quest to find out more about Vampires. In true Gonzo style, he drinks Blood, interviews 'real' Vampires (Not like that lady who made all that other stuff up) and travels the world looking for the source of the worlds obsession with these undead bloodsuckers.

This will be the event to go to this month. A multi-media extravaganza with real vampires lounging about drinking bloody cocktails and listening to Eric's stories of tracking them across the misty lakes in Romania. The only way to not look like prey in a roomful of predators is to dress like the predators. Your best bet to get out with all your blood is to look like a vampire. Wonderland Ballroom on October 2nd, come dressed in all your Vampiric regalia, pour a few bloody cocktails down your throat and settle in. If you are hardcore, you can stick around the Wonder for the DJ that plays after our show wraps up. Rock the night away in your Vampy best.

If the Vampires do attack, feel safe in the knowledge that I will be there. If things get a little too crazy, I will pass out cold and all my bodily fluids will be sucked out by some smoking-hot, 300 year old vamp-chick who looks 20. No, no. Don't try to talk me out of it, I am there for you guys. You run, I will pass out and hold off the hot vampire chicks.